Spanish Food
The Unofficial Spanish Citizenship Test
After hearing all about the United Kingdom Citizenship test and also having totally failed it miserably, I feel that it's time that Spain also had a pointless piece of bureaucracy as we don't have nearly enough red tape here at the moment and we need to create jobs by making people fill in purposeless tests. (Spot the sarcasm?)
Therefore when you are thinking about coming to live in Spain you should be studying hard so that you can pass theunofficial Spanish Citizenship Test.
Here are the first 10 questions and I'll leave you to add in the rest
1)When going into a shop or bank with a few folks already in the queue, what do you do?
a) Stand in an orderly queue leaving equal spaces between everyone in the queue avoiding making eye-to-eye contact or physical vicinity?
b) Mutter "Who's Last" and then mooch against the nearest wall?
c) Mutter "Who's last?" then go on to get out your Smartphone and play Indignant Birds while the individual at the front of the queue tells their life story to their cousin who is serving them?
2)When attempting to get anything official done what kind of time should you permit yourself?
a) Half an hour as all you need is a piece of paper to be stamped?
b) All morning and leave a few mornings free in the following week as there will manifestly be something else to do and someplace else to go first prior to getting what you need done?
c) There's no limit. You'll very quickly lose the will to live.
3)When you sit down in a cafe how long should you plan to be sat there before the waiter/waitress comes to take an order?
a) A minute or two?
b) A good half hour?
c) Forever if you do not actually catch their eye and scream "Oye!" or "Oiga!" a few times?
4)What is it compulsory to take to a soccer match?
a) A white handkerchief?
b) A Bocadillo?
c) A pack of "Pipas"?
d) All of the above?
(If you answered D for a bonus point what are they for?)
5)Which way did the reconquest of Spain from the Moorish invaders go?
a) North to South?
b) South to North? (An answer specifically fitted to Valencians)
c) Spain was never reconquered it is till Al Andalus?
6)Who is the existing and future head of Government in Spain?
a) Mr Bean and Mr Personality ("But I Can't Read My Own Handwriting")?
b) Zapatero and Rajoy?
c) Each of the above?
7)How much is speeding fine in Spain?
a) Spain has fines?
b) Depends upon the rate?
c) Depends upon your nationality, and whether or not it is before lunch for the Guardia who has stopped you and if he is a bit short that day?
Where is the "Real Spain"?
a) Anywhere from 5km inland round the full country?
b) There's not a real Spain, it is a myth peddled by writers attempting to match the success of "A Year in Provence" for France?
c) Wherever you see a mule on a regular basis?
9)If you go to talk to any politician in Spain how does one know whether he or she is corrupt?
a) There aren't any corrupt politicians in Spain how dare you suggest anything so ridiculous?
b) On a range of one to 10 "Ours ' go up to 11?
c) Is he or she breathing at all? Yep! They're corrupt then!
10)Where is the best Spanish food to be found?
a) Wherever the individual you are talking to is from?
b) I like fish and chips?
c) I have not tried that foreign muck?
As I asked before are there any other questions you would like to add into the comments?
Graham Hunt runs a property broker in Valencia, Valencia Property. He also blogs about Spain and Spanish related topics at Houses For Sale In Spain
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